Franchise Opportunities Available: Inquire Within

I wish there was a store that sold coffee and froyo and maybe warm cookies.

And the servers were also somehow trained zoo keepers, and they walked around with exotic baby animals and said,

“Hi. How are you? Would you like to pet this baby loris?”

babyloris

“Or give a bottle to this wombat pup and kangaroo joey?”

babywombatandkangaroo

Or, “Hey, could you help me accessorize this baby owl? I’m not sure if a scarf would be overkill, considering the hat and all. What do you think?”

babyowlhat

 

And there would be puppies, too. Of course there would.

FrenchBulldogHarleyPuppy5

The puppies would just roam around the store and you could pick one up and snuzzle its belly. And then pick up another one and snuzzle its belly. And so on and so on until you were all snuzzled out.

And in one corner of the store there was this curtained off area where you could go and dance to “Should I Stay or Should I Go” by The Clash.

Or, you know, whatever song makes you rock out and dance around like a fool.

That’s why the curtain is there so you don’t have to feel self-conscious while you’re flailing around.

And then when you were done drinking coffee and having your froyo and after you’d petted all the baby meerkats you wanted and done all the dancing you needed to do, you paid up and went on about your day feeling recharged and happy.

OK, so obviously I’m feeling a little tired today, but seriously, who wants to do up a business plan for this million-dollar retail idea?

10 comments to Franchise Opportunities Available: Inquire Within

  • Dang. That’s really not a bad idea!

    Does the place serve lattes?

    • klmadmin

      Big, brimming buckets of lattes! And they’re carried on wee little latte saddles fitted to the baby zebras that cavort through the cafe! Whheeeee!

  • Hey. I like the snazzy new website-blog-whatever. Well done!
    As for the franchise, I’d only add one thing–organic hand sanitizer stations. See how I am?

    • klmadmin

      Oh, dear. I can see that. Baby goats, for example, are kinda stinky. But we’ll make sure to just have the cleanest, freshest zoo animals in our petting zoo/cafe, OK? All certified organic

  • This is a fabulous idea! I’m in!!

  • What’s froyo – frozen yoghurt? Do they still make that stuff? I used to want to invent a place with a sound-proof padded room where people could scream and hit the walls without anyone seeing or hearing them until they got all their frustrations out. Maybe we could add that room behind the curtained-off dance area …

  • Sharon Lawrie-Branner

    I hate to be a buzzkill, but as the parent of a 13 week old puppy, I feel the need to ask who will clean up the poop and pee? Because it sounds like there will be a lot of that.

  • Hilarious! Love this post and REALLY wish this place existed!!: )

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