I wish there was a store that sold coffee and froyo and maybe warm cookies.
And the servers were also somehow trained zoo keepers, and they walked around with exotic baby animals and said,
“Hi. How are you? Would you like to pet this baby loris?”
“Or give a bottle to this wombat pup and kangaroo joey?”
Or, “Hey, could you help me accessorize this baby owl? I’m not sure if a scarf would be overkill, considering the hat and all. What do you think?”
And there would be puppies, too. Of course there would.
The puppies would just roam around the store and you could pick one up and snuzzle its belly. And then pick up another one and snuzzle its belly. And so on and so on until you were all snuzzled out.
And in one corner of the store there was this curtained off area where you could go and dance to “Should I Stay or Should I Go” by The Clash.
Or, you know, whatever song makes you rock out and dance around like a fool.
That’s why the curtain is there so you don’t have to feel self-conscious while you’re flailing around.
And then when you were done drinking coffee and having your froyo and after you’d petted all the baby meerkats you wanted and done all the dancing you needed to do, you paid up and went on about your day feeling recharged and happy.
OK, so obviously I’m feeling a little tired today, but seriously, who wants to do up a business plan for this million-dollar retail idea?